-"911 Emergency Response, what is your emergency today?"
-"Yes, I have someone here who is suffering from chronic whining, second thoughts, and blaming others."
-"I'll send a Wambulance out right away."
In his long, media-friendly career, the Packers have put up with Favre's incompetence. Whether it was his constant indecisiveness on his retirement, or his ability to throw his teammates off of his shoulders, and under a bus, the Packers and their fans have stuck by "Good 'Ol Number Four." He played in Green Bay for sixteen seasons.
No, I'm not making this up. The great cheese state of Wisconsin had to stomach Favre for sixteen season. Sixteen seasons full of interceptions, press conferences, and excuses. He is the all-time leader in all three of those categories.
Just two short months ago, Favre shed tears of sadness on national television, for he had decided to retire from football.
Wisconsin shed tears too. Tears of joy.
It was a storybook ending. Favre's legacy in Green Bay was over. No bridges had been burnt. The Packers were allowed to move on with the future of their franchise, and spent two draft picks on Quarterbacks in this year's draft. Aaron Rogers had patiently waited four long years for his time to shine, and was given that chance. Everything was going swell.
Enter Brett Favre, stage left.
"I would like to play again." Brett says with that perfect Forest Gump impression that he does so well.
Ted Thompson says calmly, "Well Brett, we've already moved on. There isn't much we can do at this point.
Brett then starts to shrink, slowly but surely.
"But... you love me. I thought that meant something..."
"I'm sorry, the best interest of the organization right now is to stick with Aaron Rogers. He is our future."
Brett continues to grow smaller. His face loses that rugged, half-shaven beard, and his eyes are like that of a puppy.
"But I'm still better than Aaron! Please?
"No, that is the final decision. You retired, and we moved on.
Brett has now reverted to the state that we all know and love, his two year old body. Ted hands him his pacifier in fear of another temper tantrum, but it was too late.
"Well it's your fault I retired! And... and its your fault that you didn't give me everything I need! You guys suck! I want to go somewhere else!
"We would be happy to trade you if someone would be willing to do so, but it wouldn't be in the organization's best interest to just release you."
"I don't care about the organization!! I only care about me! What are you going to do for me??!!"
And there you have it folks. Brett Favre only cares about himself. He takes no responsibility for his own actions, nor does he care about the state of the franchise that has treated him like a god. He wants to tarnish everything, so he can "play like a kid" again for one more year.
"Play like a kid"... funny how his attitude reflects that as well.
I think I speak for everyone when I say:
Brett Favre, Shut Your Face.
Friday, July 18, 2008
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